Oh my goodness! So much is happening in such a short period of time. My manuscript is almost complete. I’m getting closer to my goal of publication. And I got my very first feature in a media publication! It’s all surreal. I thought I’d take this time to step back and reflect on where I am. This past month was difficult in terms of writing and putting out content for my book. My mental health got to a low that I hadn’t seen in a while. My interpersonal relationships suffered a bit as well. I had no will to write. At times, I thought about giving up completely. After all, who would want to read a fantasy novel written by me? I really needed to stop for a second, and breathe. I needed to remind myself why I’m writing this book in the first place. I’d love to share with you all the story behind Khadijah Haq. Art by me Where it all beganAnyone who knows me is aware that I am very socially awkward. You can attribute that to the fact that I had very few friends growing up. I was one of the only South Asian students at my school. At times I was the only Muslim. My peers, snot-nosed little white kids, had very little understanding of the world. They were confused by a difference in skin color and religion. All they knew about my identity was what they saw on the news, and what they heard from their parents. We all know what image comes to mind when a racist, suburban white family thinks about a Pakistani-Muslim.
Books were my sanctuary. They made me feel alive. They made me feel loved. Cheesy, I know. But it was magical. I quickly realized that books are a source of healing. I was grateful for the comfort they brought to me. I wanted to bring this same comfort to others. So, at the ripe age of ten, I decided I was going to write and publish a book. RadicalizationObviously, I didn’t publish a book when I was ten. I didn’t have the opportunity to do that until now. But I kept writing and refining my skills. In high school, I started to put together a very, very rough draft of a concept for a book. Magic? Check. Mythical creatures? Check. Villains? Check. Romance? Um, maybe. Then my understanding of the world turned upside down. In 2014, protests erupted in Ferguson, Missouri following the killing of Michael Brown at the hands of a cop and a corrupt criminal justice system. At that time, I knew very little about the severity of anti-blackness in America. This is when I learned more about systemic racism, about how our laws and our systems are designed to disadvantage the most vulnerable of our population. I reevaluated my book and what I wanted it to stand for. I grew up with stories like Harry Potter, The Hunger Games and Divergent, all books about rebellion against unjust forces. As much as I was down with the revolution, I realized could never completely relate to the characters because none of them looked like me, or shared my experiences. I imagined it’s the same for Black folks and other marginalized folks. I revaluated my book, and realized what I needed to do. Where I'm at now
I did my research so that I could accurately represent as many diverse identities as possible. I want my readers to know that their stories are valued. I want my readers to be able to see themselves in my characters. This book is my love letter to all folks who have been pushed to the margins of society, who have been told that their identities make them inferior. I want you all to know that you are worth the world. Looking forwardThe Source of Hate has an expected publication date of Spring 2021. It might come out before then. It might come out later. But one this is for sure: I will publish it.
Thank you so much to everyone who has shown support so far. I was so nervous when I first made the announcement because I thought that no one would take me seriously. But I’ve received so much support from family and friends. I’ve even met and made friends with authors from across the country. This whole experience is much greater than my depression and anxiety. I’m excited to share my book with all of you. Until then, be sure to follow my social media pages for exclusive content and updates! See you in the next blog post!
1 Comment
Wajiha ☺️
9/26/2020 01:42:27 pm
I love this blog post and getting to know how your life story is shaping the narrative of your book. I’m an avid reader and can not wait for your book to be published!!! ❤️
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